Suicide Loss Resources

Navigating Suicide Grief

Unlike other types of loss, suicide loss brings about some unique experiences. Suicide loss often produces many unanswered questions. It is different from an illness related death, where the loss has facts. There continues to be stigmas around suicide, and survivors have often noticed that the support they receive is different than it was in prior grief experiences. 

When a loved one dies by suicide there are often different reactions to someone who has died by other means. 

Unexpected Death 

Most suicides come unexpectedly to loved ones and cause a variety of emotions and thoughts. Often, there is a period of shock after the sudden death and the normal that was felt before seems like it can never be found again.  Your body may go through periods of having high energy or where you can’t get yourself out of bed for the day. Also, if you were the one who found your loved one that can cause a great deal of post-traumatic stress that can bring flashbacks or nightmares or make you feel hypervigilant or on edge. 

Asking “Why?” 

Why did my loved one do this? Why didn’t they come to me? Why didn’t I see the signs? Why did they not get help? Most of these questions are unanswerable, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself asking them. It is normal to want answers and to try and make some sense of the heartache you feel. Coming to terms with knowing you will not get an answer can be a long process for some. 

Anger 

Anger is a prevalent emotion after a suicide death. Often it is anger towards the person who took their life, at family members or friends for not helping before it was too late, and even at yourself for not doing enough or recognizing the signs. Some may feel anger toward God or a High Power for not intervening. The emotion of anger is a normal human reaction that most survivors feel at some point in their grief journey. 

“Why Won’t People Talk to Me?” 

It is common for family or friends of a survivor to not know how to engage in conversations about the loved one that died. This topic can cause people to feel anxious, worried, or confused, so they may avoid a survivor all together. Just because people do not want to talk about how your loved one died does not mean you cannot. Many survivors find it healing to talk about their loved one and even address how they died with their trusted friends. 

There is a possibility that support will look different than you may expect. Friends who you expected to support you may not step into the role you believed you would. Other individuals may come into your life and provide unexpected support.  

The Guilt Loop 

Guilt is another predominate emotion that many survivors feel. This could be for things that were said or not said. For thinking you should have done more or acted differently. For feeling relief after the death. It can also come when you find yourself feeling happy or when you find yourself not thinking about your loved one. Because you can feel guilty for feeling happy many people feel like they are stuck in this loop of guilt that they can’t get out of it.